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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25579711">i would know him (In Death)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyKeener/pseuds/PeachyKeener'>PeachyKeener</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Comics, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller, captain america: civil war - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Harley Keener Needs a Hug, Harley is the reincarnation of Patroclus, Hurt Harley Keener, Hurt Peter Parker, Its a lot, M/M, Peter Parker Feels, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter is the reincarnation of achilles, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Harley Keener, Protective Peter Parker, ambigious ending, hes in a coma, its a bit of both, its not /really/ character death but i think it counts, its uhh, just a fic ig its kinda bad kinda good i really just, low key more harley centriic but uhh the ending leave a LOT of room for peter parker angst, they matter to each other, want people to like it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:40:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,042</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25579711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyKeener/pseuds/PeachyKeener</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Name one hero who was happy,” A boy, who is both exactly like Peter and nothing at all like him murmurs.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>The boy across from him pauses. The not like but exactly like Peter boy chuckles, “You can’t. I will be the first. Swear to me.”</i></p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>“Why?” The other boy sounds as curious and inquisitive as Harley, even if his voice is all the wrong tones. </i></p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>“Because you will be the reason.” </i></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Achilles/Patroclus (Song of Achilles), Harley Keener/Peter Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i would know him (In Death)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>thank you to sarah for betaing</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They’re tired of the story they always find themselves in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Achilles is always loud. Always a star. Center of the universe. He’s always a hero. In his life before this one he was a general, in charge of US forces, craving through Europe in order to save his nation from the idea of Nazism. In the life before that, he was a revolutionary, sneaking in and out of France and Belgium and anywhere he can inspire. In the life before that he was a king. In the life before that- he lost count. His most vivid memories are his first life. Of Greece, and sticky hot air, and the smell of fig trees. Of Patroclus and nights tangled in his lovers arms. Of the war. Center of the Universe. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he is reincarnated this time, he breaths out and breaks the cycle. This incarnation will be everything he loved in his Patroclus, even if at his core he will still be a warrior bound prince, angry and invincible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter Parker is born in August of 2001. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Patroclus goes unnoticed by history. He is a shadow, helping stand up the great men his lover becomes. He is forgotten. In the life before this one he was a young medic in the field, the only person privy to tend to the wounds of the generals and high ranking soldiers- he’s the best at that, but as always, forgotten in time. In the life before that he was an aristocrat funding a revolution and helping the common folks- and yet he’s still forgotten. In the life before that he was a servant in a palace. In the life before that- he does not remember because his Achilles does not remember. He does not mind the way that they are linked, because it means that his memories are filled with soft fruit, and ripe pomegranates, and nights in a cave under the stars, and the warmth of his lovers smile. He ignores the ones of putting on his lover's uniform, his blessed armor, and grabbing his spear. Of dying. Of watching the man he loves wither. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he is reborn again he closes his eyes and thinks of his Achilles- the golden blonde hair, the brilliance, the loudness.And he hopes he is born into that. Even if at his core he is still the humble and gentle Patroclus, he hopes he is like his lover. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harley Keener is born in April of 2002. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’re tired of the story they always find themselves in and this time they are determined to rewrite it. They are always fools.<br/>
</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>They meet at 13 in this life. It’s later than they’re used too, but it’s not the latest they’ve met in life. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They meet because Harley has finally been disgraced from his family. His mother in this one, is gone again and his father would not take on the burden of a son he doesn’t want. Harley buries himself in the arms of a local king, the only father figure he’d ever known, Tony Stark. A warrior and a king in his own right, and sometimes when Harley closes his eyes and pictures his oldest mentor, Chirons face is replaced with Tonys. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They meet because Tony places him in a school for gifted students- those who are smart, clever and quick. It’s not a shock to him to find Achilles there. It is a relief. He had gone so long in this lifetime without the comforting touch of the boy he will always love in every life, that it scares him. He likes who he is in this life. He likes Harley Keener. He hopes Achilles will too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His Achilles name is Peter and they spot each other from across a crowded hallway and the breath is stolen from both their lungs. They reincarnated into each other, physically. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They play it cool. They don’t reach for each other yet, just introduce one another and start learning about each other. He glances around to familiar faces and wonders if they recognize each other. He knows they don’t. Only he and his Peter do. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once they are able, they are alone together in a tangle of limbs and hushed whispers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you really-“ Peter swallows a trembling voice and Harley presses his face into his shoulder, “Are you really him?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” the word is thick in his mouth, because it means so much, “and you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It is enough for now.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>It is no shock when the spiderbite happens. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It is no shock when Benjamin Parker is laid to rest in his grave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It is no shock when Peter takes up the mantle of hero. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it still fills Harley with dread. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How many lives have gone like this? How many lives had he been forced to watch his lover fight and die? How many times had he stayed up waiting for his love to come back to him and fearing that he never would? He’d never betray his Achilles- his Peter- and think he wouldn’t come back. But the real burden of being the lover of a hero takes a toll on him and he is frightened. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They play it off like it is not the same. In his first life, Achilles was born with these powers. In this one, Peter stumbled upon them accidentally. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he wouldn’t be the Peter Parker that Harley loves so dearly if he did not fight. All the kindness and gentle spiritedness in the world would not be able to stop the boy he loves from fighting when that is the right thing to do. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he lets go. He lets Peter fight under the name “Spider-Man.” He watches, fearful of what might happen. He prays to gods long forgotten to protect him. He makes sure Tony watches out for him. He becomes who he always is: the supporter. The lover. The caregiver. The helper. He takes up medicine again, specializing in mutant and metahuman physiology just so he may have a chance of helping. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve, someone they knew in a past life, brings up the idea of Harley receiving armor. Of Harley going out to the field. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It is not the first time he catches a glance of the trauma their past lives inflicted on them, but it is the most potent. Peter gets angry, eyes hard and words heavy, and Harley knows. He knows Peter is thinking of how he willingly let the boy he loves go out in his armor and lead his troops and watched him die. The room is quiet in shock- because in this life, he tries to remain kind- but Harley takes his hand, to remind him he’s there, and pulls him away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He kisses the boy's skin, whispering against his brow, “I will not fight.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Peter clutches at him, “you won’t.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night, Peter will cry at the way he demanded that of Harley. The way that even though they have this new life he still takes and takes and takes from his beloved. Peter will cry and Harley will gently brush back his tears, and find himself scowling at what their past lives have done to this beautiful boy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter will fall asleep, and as he does Harley presses his face to his boyfriends curls and prays to a god who never loved him to watch over the reincarnation of her son. </span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>When the avengers break apart it feels like a warning bell going off in his head. Heroes and mutants and everyone are fighting, on one side or the other, and when he catches Peter’s eyes they both know that </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>will be their battle, </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> will be their troy, </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>their undoing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So they stay out of it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They watch the world of heroes tear themselves apart and they stay out of it because they have too. He knows it kills Peter not to fight against the accords, and he tries to make it up for it by drafting new ones again, and again, and again, desperately trying to get it right where it will please both sides and end the fight that they will not survive. It does not work. Instead Peter kisses his shoulder, and whispers into his skin, “Why would I need to fight when I’ve got you right here, love?” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Because it's part of you, Peter,” He whispers back, letting the boy trail kisses across his body, “Because it's something you care about. You try not too, Peter, but you do care.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter doesn’t respond. Harley did not expect him too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fight drags on for a week. Then a month. Then a year. Hero’s still answer the calls of civilians when necessary but this isn’t a small battle that settles it. It's a fight for people’s rights and for their humanity or lack of. It’s a desperate struggle. The conflicts are known as a war. Harley wipes away Peter’s angry tears in their Queens apartment and tries to reassure him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He does not succeed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The call to arms comes from both sides. Tony- his Chiron, his friend, the closest thing he has to a father- asks him to step up and mend the accords. Steve- their friend from a past life- tells Peter to fight for what he believes in, and stand against the accords as they are now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It puts a strain on them, their difference in perspective. But it is not strain enough to make them fight or break up, merely bicker. It is not their fight.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>It's not their fight until Siberia.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Until Tony is in a coma with a new arc reactor in his chest and shreds of vibranium painted red, white, and blue millimeters from his heart. Everyone is in shock- the war has lasted two years now, but Iron Man and Captain America remain on semi friendly terms, to the point when Peggy Carter passed, they grieved with each other. But this, this is new. Cruler. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It's their first real fight too. They are both eighteen now, April fading into May and May into June. In a few months Peter will be nineteen, and in the same breath they will leave each other for Columbia and MIT respectively. They have never been big on fighting, too caught up in each other to find something to fight about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They fight about Harley’s want to fight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter curses at him, curses at their souls, curses at Patroclus who wanted to leave him. Harley screams that their souls made the decision together to reincarnate as people they loved, and if Peter wanted to be mad at anyone he needs to be mad at Achilles for being loud and impulsive and brash. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They go to bed angry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Peter awakes Harley is gone, and he gets a sinking feeling that he knows what has happened. </span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>It is not death. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter is thankful that it is not death. It is a coma, maybe one that he will never wake up from, but a coma. It is not death. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t stop him from regressing back to the life he once was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He becomes more god than human again, more raw than any flesh, and more lion than man. How can he not? His Harley is there in a hospital, not waking up, because of them. He forces the war to stop, single handedly tearing the fighting apart. He implements Harley’s changes to the accords. He mourns their choices. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harley had not even known how to defend himself, and he still took Peter’s suit and fought. Harley did not know how to punch, or to dodge, or to fight back on anything other than emotion and that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>Peter’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>fault. It brings back all the wrong memories. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Name one hero who was happy,” A boy, who is both exactly like Peter and nothing at all like him murmurs.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The boy across from him pauses. The not like but exactly like Peter boy chuckles, “You can’t. I will be the first. Swear to me.”</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“Why?” The other boy sounds as curious and inquisitive as Harley, even if his voice is all the wrong tones. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because you will be the reason.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>

</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter presses his lips to Harley’s cold hand, watching the pale face that won’t wake. They were always fools.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hit me up at Peachy-Keener on tumblr or in the comments. thanks for reading.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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